Final Moment
Are you ever haunted by a moment in your life that played such a significant role? Do you ever wish you could go back and change a time in your life that felt so final? Or is there a time that was final that has left you with such peace? A time that gave you clarity, that made moving on easier? So often we are left with difficult choices to make in this life and we have no idea which direction to go. I think God gives us path A and path B so that we have the free will to choose our destination. Yes, one path is His path, and one path is our path; but we are given the choice for a reason.
One of my personal goals in life is to live with as few regrets as possible. We all have to make choices that we will either regret or accept. That is why it is so important to think before we speak and to think before we act. When you make a decision for yourself, it doesn't just affect your life. It affects the lives around you significantly. My mother taught me this and I had to learn its truth the hard way. You see, I made hundreds of choices putting one thing above another and that hurt a lot of the people around me that I care about. I hurt the people who still remain by my side despite my trials and betrayal. The choices we make are choices that live with us for the rest of this earthly life. Someone I am close to brought about a very good point to me yesterday. She said to me, "Sometimes, you love each other so intensely and so passionately, that when you hurt each other, it is just as passionate and intense. It is just as painful, just as immense". This pulled at my thoughts for hours and I finally realized that there is a little truth to that. But I also think that how we choose to hurt a person speaks volumes of who we are choosing to be. How we choose to hurt someone says a lot about where our hearts lie with another soul. Whether you choose to hurt them with words of hate or anger, actions of betrayal or dishonesty, or even the simplicity of saying and doing nothing at all. When you love someone, you have to consider every factor for every decision you make. How will this affect them, how will this affect me, how will this affect us, how will this affect our family and friends, how will this affect our future. So many factors play a role into everything we do in our lives.
For example, ever since my breakup, I can barely look at another man and have a conversation. A huge part of me feels like I am being disloyal to the man I love, regardless of the fact that we have been broken up for over a year. To this day, it feels like I am hurting him which hurts me. But you see, that is just the loyalty I have. To him, to myself, to the relationship. Knowing when I am not ready to give someone else the time of day. It is not fair to whomever that person may be if I feel nothing but guilt towards the situation. But tomorrow, tomorrow that all changes. You see, a few days ago, I had a moment of clarity. I was able to see how far I have come and to see such growth in my personal life like never before. I am to see and be proud of the milestones I have taken in my life. Pain and sorrows will either defeat you or mold you. There is no in between, it is simply what you choose to let the trials of this life due to you. Yes, I had given up, I had thrown in the towel and said God take me now I am finished. So I lived my time with my head down and a life of brokenness. Until one day I decided that I was not finished, that my purpose on this earth had not yet been completed. There is so much beauty to this world that most people forget to see. When we get weighed down by the sins of this world, we forget to look at what really matters. What is really important. Family, friends, being in love, creation, music that makes our souls dance. Everything in this world we choose to see as beautiful. I choose to see my struggle and my heartache as beautiful lessons that were necessary for growth in my life. So the finality of that moment where I realized I was free. That the shackles of this world will no longer hold me down. And although I am terrified to love again and put myself out there, if I grow and develop as a person, it is all worth it. So I encourage you to try again. Decide that this life is worth fighting for. That your life is worth fighting for. Choose to be the best version of yourself today and tomorrow. Choose happiness over sorrow. Choose freedom over despair.
One of my personal goals in life is to live with as few regrets as possible. We all have to make choices that we will either regret or accept. That is why it is so important to think before we speak and to think before we act. When you make a decision for yourself, it doesn't just affect your life. It affects the lives around you significantly. My mother taught me this and I had to learn its truth the hard way. You see, I made hundreds of choices putting one thing above another and that hurt a lot of the people around me that I care about. I hurt the people who still remain by my side despite my trials and betrayal. The choices we make are choices that live with us for the rest of this earthly life. Someone I am close to brought about a very good point to me yesterday. She said to me, "Sometimes, you love each other so intensely and so passionately, that when you hurt each other, it is just as passionate and intense. It is just as painful, just as immense". This pulled at my thoughts for hours and I finally realized that there is a little truth to that. But I also think that how we choose to hurt a person speaks volumes of who we are choosing to be. How we choose to hurt someone says a lot about where our hearts lie with another soul. Whether you choose to hurt them with words of hate or anger, actions of betrayal or dishonesty, or even the simplicity of saying and doing nothing at all. When you love someone, you have to consider every factor for every decision you make. How will this affect them, how will this affect me, how will this affect us, how will this affect our family and friends, how will this affect our future. So many factors play a role into everything we do in our lives.
For example, ever since my breakup, I can barely look at another man and have a conversation. A huge part of me feels like I am being disloyal to the man I love, regardless of the fact that we have been broken up for over a year. To this day, it feels like I am hurting him which hurts me. But you see, that is just the loyalty I have. To him, to myself, to the relationship. Knowing when I am not ready to give someone else the time of day. It is not fair to whomever that person may be if I feel nothing but guilt towards the situation. But tomorrow, tomorrow that all changes. You see, a few days ago, I had a moment of clarity. I was able to see how far I have come and to see such growth in my personal life like never before. I am to see and be proud of the milestones I have taken in my life. Pain and sorrows will either defeat you or mold you. There is no in between, it is simply what you choose to let the trials of this life due to you. Yes, I had given up, I had thrown in the towel and said God take me now I am finished. So I lived my time with my head down and a life of brokenness. Until one day I decided that I was not finished, that my purpose on this earth had not yet been completed. There is so much beauty to this world that most people forget to see. When we get weighed down by the sins of this world, we forget to look at what really matters. What is really important. Family, friends, being in love, creation, music that makes our souls dance. Everything in this world we choose to see as beautiful. I choose to see my struggle and my heartache as beautiful lessons that were necessary for growth in my life. So the finality of that moment where I realized I was free. That the shackles of this world will no longer hold me down. And although I am terrified to love again and put myself out there, if I grow and develop as a person, it is all worth it. So I encourage you to try again. Decide that this life is worth fighting for. That your life is worth fighting for. Choose to be the best version of yourself today and tomorrow. Choose happiness over sorrow. Choose freedom over despair.
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